


Razor

by neoguri



Category: Block B
Genre: Anxiety, Cuddling & Snuggling, Depression, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Loneliness, M/M, Showers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 10:19:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17640923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neoguri/pseuds/neoguri
Summary: Jaehyo waits till the last possible moment before shaving his head. He doesn't want to go.~JaeBomb soft angst, written the day before our baby enlisted because I was emo~





	Razor

Jaehyo stood in the bathroom, one hand gripping the counter, the other holding his small electric shaver. He stared at his reflection in the mirror. Even to him, his cheeks seemed sunken. His skin so pale it was almost ashy.

"It's okay," Minhyuk said. "Breathe."

Jaehyo dragged in a long breath through his teeth. He felt Minhyuk's hand on the small of his back, warm, encouraging. He could sense the anxiety building in his chest, constricting his lungs, rising up his throat. He wanted to scream.

Minhyuk pried Jaehyo's fingers from the counter, then slowly eased the shaver out of his hand. Immediately the tension seemed to abate. Only a little. But it was enough. He took more deep breaths, then let Minhyuk put one arm around his waist, pulling him close for a hug.

"I'm good," Jaehyo said. "It's okay."

"We can do it bit by bit," Minhyuk said in his ear. "If that makes it easier."

"It's not a big deal," Jaehyo said, forcing a laugh.

"I know," Minhyuk said. He slipped his hand up Jaehyo's back, into his tangled mat of hair. Jaehyo closed his eyes and let himself relax just a little more, feeling those gentle fingers on his scalp. They spoke of sleepy summer afternoons. Sunday mornings in the park. Dinner dates at home, and kisses in the candlelight.

He didn't want to go.

"We'll start with an undercut," Minhyuk said. "Sound good? I'll go bit by bit."

"Too trendy," Jaehyo said. His voice came out muffled against Minhyuk's neck.

"Hmm." Minhyuk stroked the stray locks back from Jaehyo's forehead, then leaned down and kissed his ear softly. "I'll make it look good."

"Fine," Jaehyo said. "Just don't turn me into a clown."

With slow, calming movements, Minhyuk took Jaehyo's towel and draped it over his shoulders like a barber's gown, then moved behind him and began to gather his hair in his hands. Jaehyo avoided his own gaze in the mirror. He closed his eyes, trying to let Minhyuk's touch fill his mind.

Minhyuk talked softly to him as the first few locks of hair fell to his shoulders. The shaver hummed by first one ear, then the other, sending shivers down his spine and into the small of his back. Afterwards, Jaehyo couldn't remember what Minhyuk said. He was too lost in his own thoughts.

What seemed like an eternity later, Minhyuk brushed off the towel and told Jaehyo to look. He did. He wasn't exactly ready for it. But Minhyuk had done an excellent job, which made it easier.

Minhyuk whipped out his phone and took pictures from every angle imaginable. He showered Jaehyo in compliments. Then, in kisses. His dimple poked at the center of his cheek as he said, "You look so good."

"Do the rest," Jaehyo said.

Minhyuk hesitated. He gave one more lingering kiss on the lips, and Jaehyo tried to memorize the scent of his skin, the taste of his chapstick, the heat of his breath in his mouth. It was gone too soon. Minhyuk picked up the shaver again. This time, he finished in a bit of a hurry, and Jaehyo could tell he too wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. When Jaehyo looked up, he almost didn't recognize himself.

"All done," Minhyuk said softly.

Minhyuk turned on the shower for him, then began sweeping up as Jaehyo undressed and climbed in. The door opened and closed. When Minhyuk came back, the bathroom was choked with steam. Jaehyo kept turning up the heat, trying to soothe the cold ache in the pit of his chest, but it was so hot that he could hardly breathe. Minhyuk stepped in with him. He reached a naked arm around Jaehyo to turn down the heat, then wrapped him up in a tight embrace.

It shouldn't be a big deal. He couldn't fathom why he was so upset. But it was nice that Minhyuk seemed to understand, and didn't make fun of him for freaking out over something so stupid. Maybe it was because they both knew that it wasn't really shaving his head that bothered him.

Minhyuk got out first to fetch Jaehyo's bathrobe from the closet. He came back, turned off the shower, then held Jaehyo's hand as he climbed out. Jaehyo slipped his arms through the plush sleeves of the robe and wrapped it around himself. It calmed him to have the soft cotton against his skin. His head felt light, but maybe that was the heat.

The two of them walked hand in hand to Jaehyo's living room and sat down on the couch. Jaehyo rested his head in Minhyuk's lap and watched as Minhyuk turned on the TV and flipped channels for a moment, till he found one they both liked. Some nature documentary about South America.

As they watched, Minhyuk stroked Jaehyo's head, then his shoulders, then moved his hands down his waist to his hips. Jaehyo yawned and closed his eyes, rolling over onto his stomach so that his forehead rested on Minhyuk's thigh.

"Rub my back," he murmured.

Minhyuk chuckled softly, gave Jaehyo's hip a little pinch, then moved his hand up to massage gentle circles into his back. Jaehyo let out a long contented sigh.

He wasn't sure how long it took him to doze off. He woke up some time later as Minhyuk shifted him into his arms and carried him slowly to the bedroom. Jaehyo reached up, wrapped his arms around Minhyuk's neck.

"Go back to sleep," Minhyuk whispered.

He leaned down and laid Jaehyo in his bed, then pulled the covers up over him. Jaehyo wriggled out of his bathrobe and threw it to the floor. Minhyuk was about to leave the room, but Jaehyo called to him, plaintive.

"I don't want to be alone," he said.

So Minhyuk came back, climbed under the covers with him. Jaehyo wrapped his arms around him and held him tight. He was half afraid that if he let go, Minhyuk would disappear. But he didn't.

"I'm going to miss this," Minhyuk said.

"Me too," Jaehyo mumbled.

"You're a good cuddler," Minhyuk said. "I didn't think you would be, when we met."

"I always knew you would be," Jaehyo said. "You're soft."

"Shut up," Minhyuk said, laughing. "You told me I looked like an awkward fuckboy."

"I meant it in a good way," Jaehyo said.

Minhyuk snorted, shook his head. “That makes no sense.”

“It does!" Jaehyo grumbled, and buried his face deeper in Minhyuk's bare chest. "Really. You're so... So..." He didn't know how to finish. There was no way he could ever say how much Minhyuk meant to him. Not because he was ashamed of it - but because he didn't know the words. "So perfect," he finally said.

"Aww." Minhyuk stroked the top of his head, then kissed it, wrapping his arms tighter around him. "Don't cry. It's gonna be okay."

It was too late; tears were already streaming down his face, dripping onto Minhyuk's chest. Minhyuk pulled the blankets up over their heads, shrouding them in darkness. He took Jaehyo's face in his hands and leaned down to kiss him.

Jaehyo cried and cried, and the more he tried to stop the worse it became. He hadn't cried this much since that day on the rooftop. Every time Minhyuk broke the kiss Jaehyo pulled him back, desperate for him to stay, terrified that he might leave. Minhyuk, thankfully, didn't seem to mind.

The kisses were soft, and never went deep. Comforting and innocent. More to distract Jaehyo than anything. And when he couldn't seem to cry anymore, he let Minhyuk kiss his neck. After each one Minhyuk would hesitate, look up at him, as if to ask if he still wanted this. Jaehyo kept nodding. In truth, he was exhausted. Physically, from pushing himself too hard in his morning workout. Emotionally, it seemed, just from existing. But Minhyuk’s presence gave him the strength to get through even the worst situations. That was another one of the things Jaehyo could never tell him. Another thing that he would miss. He didn't know how he would survive without it.

Lips moved down his neck, then across to his shoulder and down his arm. Minhyuk took his hands hand held them to his chest, and Jaehyo splayed his fingers across Minhyuk's skin, feeling his heartbeat.

"Will you still love me?" Jaehyo whispered. "When I come back?"

"Of course," Minhyuk said. "I'm gonna wait for you, Jae."

"Can you be sure?" Jaehyo asked.

"I would never leave you," he said. "Doesn't matter if you're far away. Or anything. I have enough memories to hold me over till you get back."

Jaehyo struggled not to betray how scared he was. "What if... If they change me and, and you don't like me anymore? I don't want them to change me. I've only just learned how to love myself. What if I come back and everything gets worse? What if..." He trailed off, the thoughts becoming too painful to verbalize.

Minhyuk pulled him even closer, holding him tight. "It's going to be okay," he said. "Really. I'll call you, hm? Tell you everything I'm doing. If they let me. Otherwise I'll just send letters. It's not the best, but it'll do."

Jaehyo took in a huge shaky breath and nodded. He wanted so badly to believe. Things would be so much easier if he did. But he knew how love could die. He was far too familiar with it. Familiar, and yet he could barely stand the thought that it might happen again.

"Do you promise?" he whispered.

"Swear it on my life," Minhyuk said. "I love you, Jaehyo. Nothing is going to change that."

When Jaehyo didn't immediately respond, Minhyuk wiggled further down in the covers and kissed his chest. Jaehyo wrapped his arms around him, ran his fingers through Minhyuk's hair, and once again tried to memorize the feel of their skin pressed together, warm and soft and still a little damp from the shower. He would miss this so much.

"You look really hot with short hair," Minhyuk said.

"It's ugly," Jaehyo said.

"Is not," Minhyuk said. "You are the sexiest man alive."

"Shut up," Jaehyo said, laughing and shoving at Minhyuk's shoulder. "You are."

"No, definitely you," Minhyuk said. "Take my word for it, alright?" He nibbled on Jaehyo's chest, then pushed him gently onto his back and swung one leg over him, settling his weight across Jaehyo's hips. "I'm going to miss your body."

"I'll miss your dick."

"Don't be nasty," Minhyuk said.

"I thought you liked it nasty."

Minhyuk raised his head to grin at him. "Shit, you’re right. Wanna get nasty, then? Last time for a while." He caressed Jaehyo's palm with his fingers. "You deserve it."

"I might get emotional," Jaehyo warned him.

"Good. Maybe you won't be able to tell when I start to cry."

"Don't cry," Jaehyo said. He slipped his hands free, and cupped Minhyuk's face. "Please don't cry, beautiful. Let's forget all this for a while and just... just appreciate the moment. Okay?"

Minhyuk smiled and kissed him slowly on the lips before saying, "Okay."

 

By the time it was over, it took Jaehyo only minutes to fall asleep. As he was drifting off, he heard Minhyuk start humming, then singing softly in his ear, a song that he had never heard before. He tried hard to stay awake, so he could hear Minhyuk's voice a little longer. But he couldn't keep his eyes open any more. He fell asleep in his boyfriend's arms.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading and, as always, i hope your soul suffered uwu  
> -neoguri


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